The 55th Annual Grammys paid tribute to Bob Marley on Sunday with a segment featuring Rihanna, Sting, Bruno Mars, and the late reggae icon’s sons Ziggy and Damian. What was a well-anticipated event from viewers all over the world, including Jamaicans; Boardlane TV gets feedback from Jamaicans living in the Atlanta area.

Boardlane TV: Good day, I am here live with Vivia who wants to share her opinion on the tribute. Vivia, you are one of many who watched the Bob Marley tribute at the Grammys. Tell us what you thought of it.

Vivia: Well fuss to begin, mi noh really watch Grammy to dat caah more time a bare drunkard pan it. But mi sista call mi seh mi was to chune in caah dem about fi do wan Bob tribute. Soh mi tun to di station an siddung deh a wait. Mi wait an wait soh til mi get hungry an decide seh mi ago set aan a pot a parridge….

Boardlane TV: (Interrupts) Just get to your opinion, please. We have only a few short minutes on the air.

Vivia: Lawd misiss, mek yuh a rush mi soh?! Mek mi hassemble mi toughts inna mi head noh! Cho! Anyway, soh afta 1 hour wait dem goh soh – BOOM! Time fi di tribute. An mi siddung wid mi frack tail lap an a salivate. Mi si wan lickle midget come aan name, Bruno. (Pauses) Yuh know seh a soh mi lickle, puppy daag name to? Ah-rite back to di ting now. Soh when Bruno come aan im a sing bout “Locked Out Of Heaven.” Same time mi call back mi sista an ask har a wah year Bob did buss dah chune deh caah mi neva hear Bob a sing nutten bout Maasa Gad lack im outta heaven.

Boardlane TV: Well, that is not one of Bob’s songs. That is a Bruno Mars song.

Vivia: Dat is prexactly right! Dat a how comes mi get canfuse now caah mi tink a Bob dem a tribute. Fi tell yuh di troot, mi a look fi si Bruno tan up pan wan stool – to how im is a shorty-poop-stick, an play im guitar an sing some “Redemption Song.”  If im neva know noh Bob chune im coulda Google an fine wan an practice fi sing it. Dat lickle, tumpa foot bway is very slack an outta arda fi a come pan Bob tribute tribute a promote fi im chune. Dat is RENKNISS! An mi nat very pleased!

Boardlane TV: Well, it is fair to say you don’t approve. Does anyone standing around here think that the tribute was done fairly well? Sir, do you want to respond to that question?

Michael: Sistren, all now mi a wait pan di tribute. Di fus two weh come aan neva sing noh Bob chune soh when mi si Ri-Ri come out an a skank mi seh, ah-rite shi come wdi sinting good. But di more shi skank an a beat up har chess, all mi a si a di tattoo brazier shi a wear unda har shut. Mi chune har out sed time. All now mi cudden tell yuh weh shi sing seh.

Boardlane TV: Ok sir thanks. No one liked the tribute? How about when the Marley brothers performed?

Felicia: (Steps forward) Well Ziggy coulda paas. At least im sing wan a im faada sang dem. When Junior Gong come aan now, a some DJ bizness im a come wid an mek di whole a di people dem a di Grammy canfuse to backside! All Ellen DeGeneres tap dance an a look like – A weh di…??! When yuh si Ellen tap dance yuh muss know seh sinting is VERY wrang!

Donna: (Chimes in) And unu did si how Damian locks lang dung a grung? Mi did jus a pray seh im noh tan deh jump an land pan di locks an pitch ova an grung. A woulda dead wid laff to blousecut! Dat woulda mek di wait wortwhile.

Boardlane TV: So again, no one liked any of the tribute?

Jessica: Oh God. At least dem did try. Plus everybady did a drap asleep inna di room until dat part come aan. Everybady git up an a rock two side. Dung to my girl, Nicole Kidman did a try move, aldowe shi stiff like rigamortis set pan har. Shi a dance an a ongle di neck yuh si a move. Every weh else pan har bady refuse fi budge. Soh mi gi dem a lickle bly fi lively up di place.

Terrence: (Disagrees) No star! Mi naah gi dem noh bly a puss tail!  It did too blinking shart to! Mi waan fi know dis. If dem did a do wan tribute to Whitney Houston, dem woulda mek people goh up deh goh sing Brittany Spears sang? As far as mi si, a diss dem diss Bob. Di way how dem do di ting, dem coulda raise di man outta im grave fi  shat dem a carton bax an run dem affa di blurtnaught stage. Dem fi run weh wid dat sheggries!

Boardlane TV: Interesting. Thank you all for your candid remarks. It appears that the tribute may have not been well received by most Jamaican viewers. We hope that the Grammys will take another stab at a tribute worthy of praise the next time around. This has been Wendy reporting live from Atlanta. Thanks for tuning in to Boardlane

© Written by Joelle C. Wright  February 11, 2013

Books by the author:

“A Soh Wi Do It!”

“A Soh It Goh!”

“A Soh Dem Gwaan!”

For more laughs, visit: http://www.ackeepodpublishing.com/category/parodies/

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Boardlane TV reporting live from the beaches of Negril, where we are here to get the reactions of Jamaicans on the controversial Volkswagen ad that has been causing a stir in the U.S. Some  critics have described the pregame Super Bowl ad from Volkswagen of America as offensive and culturally insensitive. Some will say, it depends who you talk to, so let us find out how these folks in tourist town, feel about it.  

Boardlane TV: Good afternoon, Mister. Have you heard of the new Volkswagen ad that has been causing quite a buzz in the United States?

Bugzy: Yeah man. Di ad have a cool vibes still. Weh dem a try show people seh is dat nutten too tough noh badda we Jamaicans, yuh si mi? If wi noh have food fi eat, wi jus pap big smile an gwaan pose aff wid white squall pan wi mout carna sed way. If wata lack aff… no problem man…wi jus wait til when rain start fall fi ketch a bade. A soh wi dweet!

Boardlane TV:  So you endorse the happy-go-lucky vibe the ad portrays of Jamaicans and you believe that is a good thing for the car company?    

Bugzy: Moas definitely caah fram dem naah talk bout how wi a tief an smoke ganja, mi cool wid it. More time di white people dem too uptight, fi real. Like all di man inna di en bout im a look pan watch an a race up di man bout im late. Jamaican people noh watch clack dem way deh. Mi glad when Dave tell im fi chill out im blurtneet self, bout im a look pan watch. If a mi did a run dah ad deh, mi mek Dave come outta di cyar an shat im bax mek im dizzy! A soh wi dweet.  Maximum rispec to Dave an di crew, fi real.

Boardlane TV: Thanks for your candor, young man. Good afternoon sir, as a food vendor here in Negril  I am sure you meet a lot of tourist day-to-day. What do you think of Volkswagen’s portrayal of Jamaicans using a white man from Minnesota?

Macka Beard:  Di advertizment wikid! Hey, yuh know seh mi know dah bredda deh inna di commercial?

Boardlane TV: (Puzzled) You do?

Macka Beard: Yeah man, Dave come on yah nuff time an orda two fish an bammy fram mi more time. Im come a yaad every holiday fi soak up some sun. A mi artical dat!

Boardlane TV:  But do you realize the gentleman is an actor and “Dave” is not his real name? Are you sure you are not mistaking him for someone else?

Macka Beard: Yow, yuh a tek big man fi fool? Mi seh a mi idren DAVE weh come fram Mannasotta weh come a mi food stan all di while!

Boardlane TV: The name of the State is Minnesota, sir.  Min-nes-ota.

Macka Beard: Mannasotta.. Minnesota.. wah di difference? Mi a try show yuh seh a dah same man deh come drink two Red Stripe wid mi all di while. Im use to walk all bout pan di beach wid im face lang dung til mi haffi show im seh im fi tun im frown in a smile an noh tek noh stress. Si dem all a use it inna di commercial. A mi all teach im fi chat like yaad man, soh mi noh know weh yuh a come questian mi bout.  

Boardlane TV: OK, OK. I am not going to argue with you, sir. Have a good day. (Calling out ) Mister, could you give us a few minutes?  Have you heard of the VW ad that is being debated in the news lately?

Reggie: Yes lady! Mi si di ad a run pan di news an dem a seh some farrin people seh it racist an dem ting deh.

Boardlane TV: Do you agree with that?

Reggie: No Star! Di ad ah-rite but a di cyar dem mi noh like. Dem deh blastid VW always a bruck dung wid people a road to bloodbawt. Yuh know seh mi did have wan inna ‘88 weh wi use to call “Buggy.”  Memba dem? Mi seh as mi drive aff fi bout 2 minute, di flipping cyar cut aff an a cough like it a choke. Den it alone coulda kill ten tousen maskita wid di amount a smoke weh a falla back a it.

Boardlane TV: Well, that was back then. I think they have better cars these days.

Reggie: Mi noh care weh dem waan seh inna dem commercial, mi naah buy noh more VW a bombeet! Dem coulda tun dem frown inna smile til di sun tun red, mi naah buy none! But mi still tink di commercial tun up!

Boardlane TV: Well, glad you see things in some positive light. Thanks and have a good day.  

Norma: (Walking along as she yells) PEPPA SWIMPS! FIFTY DALLA  gi yuh a bag!  PEPPA SWIMPS!

Boardlane TV: (Waving) Hello miss. Come here for a minute, love.

Norma: (Excited) Peppa swimps, lady?

Boardlane TV: No, no. Just want ask a question. Boardlane TV here and we are live on air.

Norma: (Patting her hair down) Lawd Gad lady! Afta mi hair noh comb. Mi cyaan deh pan TV wid mi head tan soh!   

Boardlane TV: You look fine. Wanted to ask you if you heard about the Super Bowl ad from Volkswagen and what’s your take on it. Is it controversial to you?

Norma: Oh! Yuh talk bout di ad wid di hurry-come-up man weh a tell people inna im workplace seh dem fi tap mek up dem face like sour puss an bi happy? Mi like it man! Mi jus glad dem neva mek im wear wan a dem hat wid di fake rasta dread a heng aff pan it. A dat time mi woulda cuss! Mi cyaan bare si di sinting pan di white people dem head.

Boardlane TV: So no controversy at all for you?

Norma: No, Miss TV lady. Nutten noh wrang wid it. An wan neda ting mi glad fah, is dat dem neva play noh Bob Marley chune inna di background. Marley music sweet an all but a full time odda people get a buss. Mi did love fi hear when Jimmy Cliff come aan. Mi all did figet seh im a smaddy to how dem live pan Bob Marley. Every blastid commercial dem do a farrin is bare: (singing)  One love, one heart… Let’s get together and feel all right… Cho! Mi tiyad a dat rahtid now man. VW to di worrrll! A soh wi seh!

Boardlane TV: (Laughing) So funny. We thank you for your remarks.

Norma: Soh wait deh. Yuh naah buy wan Peppa swimps fram mi?

Boardlane TV: OK. I’ll have one for you being such a good sport. But in the meantime, let me turn it back to our studios. This has been Wendy reporting live from Negril. Thanks for tuning in to Boardlane TV.

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© Written by Joelle C. Wright  January 31, 2013

Books by the author:

“A Soh Wi Do It!“

“A Soh It Goh!“

“A Soh Dem Gwaan!”

For more laughs, visit: http://www.ackeepodpublishing.com/category/parodies/

 

Tonight is must-see TV! It is the night Americans find out who has been elected president.  But Jamaicans may have other viewing preferences. Boardlane TV obtains insights on how Jamaicans view President Barack Obama and his Republican challenger Mitt Romney.

Boardlane TV: Hello, Wendy coming to you live from Cross Roads where I am soliciting the views of members of the public as to who they think will emerge winner when Americans cast their votes and the results announced. I am starting with a lovely young lady who seems to be excited. Will you be watching the results as the come in?

Tasha: Den mi noh muss watch weh a gwaan pan di farrin election! Mi noh want a soul tell mi how it did goh. Mi waan seet live an direct pan mi cola TV fi miself. Mi set up mi two dutchie pat ready fi tonight.

Boardlane TV: You are in for all night cooking to watch?

Tasha: No lady! A wah do yuh? Di pat cova a fi when dem declare ‘Bama di winna an mi set out pan di road a lick mi dutchie pat cova an a fling up mi frack tail inna di air an a galang like ole naygah!

Boardlane TV: OK love, just make sure you wear clean underwear. Sir just a moment, will you be tuned into the US Presidential elections tonight?

Tony: No, enoh sistren. I man cyaan watch cauzen seh dem cut aff mi cable fram wah day.  Mi inna wan nex bine caah JPS ketch mi a tief light fram ova di school an nat even local statian mi ago get fi watch. Mi bex noh blurtseed! But mi wi try ketch some a it pan di radio statian dowe ..if di battery dem hole out. Bless up!  (He walks away)

Boardlane TV: I guess he is out of luck tonight. Blue shirt! Over here, please. Who will you be rooting for in this year’s US Presidential election?

Bruck Packet: Obama wi seh still! Hope seh Obama tun up di ting caah it would be more easia fi Jamaica fi continue fi have good trade relations wid di US. A nuff tings wi export to  farrin weh Mitt Money naah defen. Yuh si mi?

Boardlane TV: Like what soh?

Bruck Packet: Mitt Money a talk some way like seh im noh have noh rispec fi weh wi a cantribute to di ‘Merican society. Look how much tings wi bring a farrin come show dem. A wi show dem how fi do di dalla wine. Yuh eva a watch Beyonce a bubble pan stage? A yaad shi bring dat fram enoh! Look all pan di amount a renta yam dem man a buy up jus troo dem a try cultivate di nex Bolt. If a neva fi wi ‘Merican people noh get fi wear rasta tam wid fake locks. Straight! Dem deh kine a export wi still gwaan unda Obama. A soh mi seet.

Boardlane TV: Wow that was very educational.  Never knew those things played such a key role in the US. OK young man, what say you about this election? Who do you want to win?

Terrence: (Gun finger in the air) Barack to di weerlll wi seh!! Di man weh a challenge im a gwaan like seh im noh rate immigrants.Yet still wi dun know seh im have quarta dozen Mexicans a rake up wan bag a harse dee-dee a im yaad. Unu news people fi goh check it out. Mi bet  unu two fowl outta mi fowl coob seh im have some man a pay unda di table fi wipe di harse dem backside as dem drap a load.

Boardlane TV: (Laughing) You don’t say? Not sure we can look into that but well stated. Sir, will you be watching the results of the US election?

Wolfie:  Den mi noh muss watch dat man! Boss man, Obama all the way wi seh! A black man time now!

Boardlane TV: So  is your support for him because he is African American?

Wolfie: Well is nat jus troo im black man still. But di man a daag heart mi a tell yuh. All dem adda white man noh wikid like im. Man a pap shat inna every man head lef an right. Di pirates dem who tek hostage get  dem head lick aff. Im pap a coppa shat right troo Bin Laden yeye. Libya man all get duss out. A black man fi run di tings caah if a man come tess, im get im dead. All Mitt a come wid is a bag a mout talk a folda fulla ooman. Weh dat can do?

Boardlane TV: Nothing I suppose. Well it seems Jamaicans have taken one side of this election and is in support of the current President. We will be watching as the votes are tallied and a President declared. This is Wendy reporting. Have a pleasant day.

© Written by Joelle C. Wright  May 10, 2012

Books by the author:

“A Soh Wi Do It!”

“A Soh It Goh!”

“A Soh Dem Gwaan!”

For more laughs, visit: http://www.ackeepodpublishing.com/category/parodies/

 

Jamaicans are hunkered down as Hurricane Sandy with pelting rain and howling winds, is battering the island. However, a few brave souls are out and about defying warnings to stay home. Boardlane TV is here this St. Ann area to speak to some of them.

Boardlane TV: (Under an umbrella) Hello, I am here in the streets where heavy winds have picked up a few minutes ago. I am about to speak to a mentally ill man who lives here on the street and he seems to be the least bit worried about the storm. Sir, do you need help to get into a shelter?

Mad Max: Goh a which shelta?! Yuh a mad ooman?! Yuh tink mi coulda hear seh wan gyal name, Sandy a come an run weh lef har?  Everyday man a git up a call mi mad, but is only a mad man would git up an lef Sandy all alone. (Eyes closed) Feel how di breeze nice soh til!  I can smell di scent of Sandy as shi whiff paas mi nose-ole. Shi a tantalize mi wid har tenda touch pan di back mi elbow. (Arms stretched out) Sandy baby, come man-hangle mi like a wild beast, mi shuga candy. Drench mi wid yuh love, baby. Kill mi wid it, buttacup!

Boardlane TV: Sir, I understand that you are mentally ill but I am truly concerned for your safety. You need to get to a shelter.

Mad Max: Fret not, caah mi Sandy wi protect mi unda har bosom. Listen good. Yuh hear dat? Mi hear Sandy a whispa some sweet lyrics inna mi ears. (Hugging himself) Sandy, come wi goh roun a di back a di church an mek tree baby wan time, mi dawling.

Boardlane TV: (Sigh) Oh dear. He is really not all together. Moving on to a young lady who is soaked from head to toe. What are you doing out here when you should be home?

Marsha: Hi, hello. Mi jus wanted to come check out di wan, Sandy. Mi waan fi know how shi soh brazen. Shi noh hear seh dem a rape aff ooman lef to right dung yah? Is why shi a come eggs up harself now fi come a Jamaica like shi noh gat noh flipping sense! (Wagging her finger) Sandy, please to goh back where yuh coming fram an mine man ketch yuh an rape yuh aff.

Boardlane TV: (Laughs) Never a dull day with Jamaicans.  Moving over to man in the far corner with his back turn to us.  Excuse me young man. Why are you out here in the storm?

Ronny: (With Carbolic Soap in hand) Who me? Trus mi, Sandy come di right time. A troo yuh noh know. Dem lack aff wata fram laas night an a wan bade mi come outta fi ketch.

Boardlane TV:  You are seriously washing yourself in the middle of the street?

Ronny: How yuh mean? A di bess bade dis mi eva get. More time a lickle troops a wata mi get outta di pipe fi ketch inna wash pan. Anyway, unu move fram yah soh caah mi about fi drap mi drawz an wash some place weh cyaan show pan TV.

Boardlane TV: OK ..yes we cannot show that on TV. Just when I thought I have seen it all. Oh, I see someone running towards us. Let’s see what she is up to.

Noreen: (Running with hands covering her head) Lady, mi can seh someting to di TV?

Boardlane TV: Sure. Come on over under this umbrella. What would you like to say?

Noreen: Greetings! I would like to sen a message to Auntie Sadie in Miami dat shi fi memba seh when breeze blow shi fi pack wan barrel fi mi. Tings ago hard dung here as fram tomorrow, soh please mi a beg har sen some Ivory soap, wan tin a cheese, some boasy jeans fi di baby, two pack a 10 inch hair weave…di wet an wavy type, wan size 9 slippas an anyting else shi can trow in deh. Tanks, yuh hear. Have a nice day.

Boardlane TV:  All right love. Hope she gets the message. Interestingly there is another man here just leaning up against a closed shop. (Walking towards him) Hi, hello…. Wendy reporting for Boardlane TV. Why are you standing here so comfortably when there is such a dangerous storm brewing?

Kapone: (Puffing a cigarette) Yow, if a live TV dis unu betta black out mi face, enoh. Mi cyaan mek people come si mi face a show pan TV a blurtnaught.

Boardlane TV:  Well, we are recording live…we will not record your face if you wish. What’s your concern and why are you here?

Kapone: Yuh waan si mi a lay wait Sandy fi come blow aff di zinc affa dah shap yah. As mi si zinc start fly mi ago grab some shuga, rice, cornmeal, two cut a butta and peica salt powk. A waan tell yuh seh mi noh have nutten a mi yaad fi nyam to bombawt!

Boardlane TV: Are you confessing to a plan to loot the shop?

Kapone: (Puffs the cigarette) Watcha lady, looting a weh unu news people call it. I man call it “survival.” A lang time mi a plan fi bruck di shap but since as Sandy deh yah, mi ago do dis ting di legal way. When di roof fly weh, nohbaddy cyaan seh mi bruck dem shap. A soh mi seet.  Unu can gwaan rae rae bout looting…a work mi deh pan jus like yuh deh pan your work. Mi dun talk!

Boardlane TV: That is the most outrageous thing I have ever heard. What if the police are alerted?

Kapone: Mek di police bway dem come. Mek dem come! When mi start fling some tin mackerel affa dem blousecut, mi naah miss. Sen dem come. Yuh tink mi fraida police? (Looking up to the sky) Come aan Sandy, liff aff dah roof yah mek I man do mi ting an lef fram bout yah!

Boardlane TV: This is sad. Anyway, the wind is picking up here and we have to go. We here at Boardlane TV wish every Jamaican safety during the storm. Thanks for joining us.

© Written by Joelle C. Wright  Oct 24, 2012

Books by the author:

“A Soh Wi Do It!“

“A Soh It Goh!“

“A Soh Dem Gwaan!“

For more laughs, visit: http://www.ackeepodpublishing.com/category/parodies/

This is Wendy reporting from Half-way-tree square where hundreds of Jamaicans witnessed the gold medal run from Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce. I am going to try to squeeze my way through this thick crowd to get some reactions from the jubilant on-lookers.

Boardlane TV: Miss, what do you have to say about that spectacular run from Shelly-Ann?

Nadine: Wooeeiii!! Lady, mi tell yuh seh mi glad bag buss when mi si di bald-head gyal Carmelita get a peica beaten like when mi ole granny use to tek cow cod belt an whoop mi behine fram Satdeh to Sundeh! Carmelita tek razor an  shave aff har head caah shi tink dat did ago mek har get hair-o-dynamic fi win di race. In di meantime yuh si how Shelly-Ann have har nice, tall hair weave  jus a blow wid di breeze an yet still shi run lef di gyal?! It sweet mi yuh si!

Boardlane TV: So you are saying hair or no hair, Carmelita had no chance?

Nadine: NAT a chance in SATAN hell!! Gole wi a defen, all day! If it mek outta Gole, wi a bring it back to Jamaica… wi a bring home di gole mine, di gole ring an di gole fish – it’s ganna be a gole rush like wi neva si before! (dancing) Raaaeeeee!! JAMAICA TO DI WORL WI SEH!!

Ragga: (reaching for the mike) Lady, mek mi seh someting to di worl weh a chune in to dis ting. Hear dah talk yah.Yuh si fram when wi a try show dem seh Jamaica a noh wan country weh yuh fi try come push up yuh chess pan bout yuh a challenge wi pan di 100? Yuh si fram when wi gi dem a chance fi back out an goh tek up egg an spoon race? Dem noh hear bout neegle an tread an crocus bag race? A dem ting deh di gyal dem fi goh do an tap train fi run 100 meta race. Dem show flop out fram Worl War four! An fram dem deh days deh wi a dun dem!

Boardlane TV: Very nice. Thanks for the candid remarks. You miss, you have not stopped jumping since the race ended. Tell us how you feel.

Patsy: (Waving a flag) JAMAIIIICAAAA WEH WI SEH!! A mash wi a mash dung Lundun, Canada, Japan, Merica, Israel, Africa, China – bring dem come..wi ready fi ANYBADY!! A who dem really tink dem a deal wid? Dem noh si seh Shelly-Ann a stallion weh barn an grow a Watahouse weh ghetto people a run fram gun shat everyday! Unu noh si when Shelly hear di gun pap, shi run weh lef di gyal dem?! Tell dem seh Patsy seh a gunman bring Shelly to dis stage of har life! None a dem odda people dung inna di Olympics know bout gunman, dats why dem cyaan come outta di block faas like Shelly!

Errol: (Gun finger) BLOP! BLOP! Gun salute pan dah wan deh, my girl!  Real talk! Hear weh wi a seh know. Every man a pap aff a shat fi Shelly-Ann dung a Gaza city right yah now. Big up my girl, Veronica Campbell. Shi still a run wid har duck foot but shi win di bronze fi wi sed speed. Mi only sarry seh shi neva bruck Jeta foot. Yuh know weh wi call a girl like Jeta dung a Gaza city?

Boardlane TV: No. I sure don’t. What do you call them?

Errol: Dem deh gyal deh a weh wi call BREAD BACK! Simple becaah badman noh nyam bread back..wi dash weh bread back! Shelly-Ann, seh di gyal a bread back an dash weh dat, straight!  Shi goh HARD-DOUGH bread an DUN har!

Boardlane TV: (Laughing) OK, sir. Thanks you fro the lesson in bread back. Mister, you are in such a good spirit. Tell us how you really feel.

Henry: (Singing the national anthem with pride) Eeeeternal faaadar, Bless wi hand…Tank yuh fi lickle Shelly-Ann … Keep us free from weevil flour… Give us rice fi countless hours…To our feeders, great pretenders..grant true…

Sandra: (Interrupting) Oye maasa! Tap mash up di national antem soh!! Dat noh mek it! If yuh ago sing di sinting, sing it prapaly or shet up yuh mout. In dis time when wi a tun 50 an deh pan tap di worl stage, a full time yuh goh larn di wod dem inna di sang. Yuh  a galang like yuh neva goh primary school fi larn wi antem. Come man…do betta dan dat.

Henry: (Snaps) Hush up yuh flipping mout an lowe mi mek mi sing wah come outta mi heart!  Renk an fayvah dem blastid bex face bullfrag! Miss, yuh ask mi how I am feeling an I have to say dis is a blessed day fi wi country.  Mi proud a dat lickle gyal pickney an mi proud a all who larn dem fi gallop like race horse soh.  Di lilly gyal have some renta yam foot deh weh tan up firm til di vein dem stretch out like ‘lastic. Shi remine mi a wan harse mi use to race dung a Caymanas Park. A same way di horse foot back did tough like turbit.  Mi glad fi har soh til mi cyaan talk.

Boardlane TV: Bless your heart sir.  Proud day for Jamaica in deed. Folks, Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce has won an impressive race, giving the Jamaicans much to be proud of. Until we see you again, this Wendy reporting from Half-Way-Tree.

by Joelle C. Wright Aug 4th, 2012

 

Soh Beverly mi goh buy mi ticket fi goh London
Caah mi a bruck mi neck fi goh celebrate all wi worl champion
Mi haffi deh front an centa inna di place
When dem  announce seh Jamaica win di race!

Yuh si when dem line dem up an seh dem fi get pan dem mark
When di gun pap an wi sprinta dem tek aff, every man ago lef ina di dark
All yuh  ago si a breeze an daylight backa Yohan Blake
When di res a dem finish di race, dem ago bawl fi wan peica belly ache

Dem ago run out dem soulcase til dem mout lip a wabble
Dem ago feel wah name agony, pain an struggle
Every laas wan a dem a get deflate by a lightning jolt
Cause nat wan a dem naah ketch wi Usain Bolt

Dem ago tiyad fi si di Black, Green an Gole Ganzi shut
Cause when wi reach a di finish line, dem still back a wi a strut
Between yuh an mi, mi sarry fi dem who waan come tess
If dem know wah good fi dem, dem gi dis sprinting ting a ress

Mi seh people ago hear di sweet soun a wi national antem
When di flag raise high, waving side to side by di fans dem
Di whole stadium a London ago gi dem undivided attentian
As wi akletes dem get dem well deserve recagnitian

Gyal, mi naah stap brag an puddung big boast
Because Jamaica ago whip dem coast to coast
Goh si wi nation a do wi pocco jump an a dance an twirl
When dem si dat dis Olympic year is  – JAMAICA TO DI WORRL!

by Joelle C. Wright July 12, 2012

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Books by the author:

“A Soh Wi Do It!“

“A Soh It Goh!“

“A Soh Dem Gwaan!”