An American Airlines plane crashed and broke into pieces after landing at the Norman Manley International Airport in Kingston a short while ago. The aircraft carried over 145 passengers and crew most of them Jamaicans returning home. Boardlane TV news was on site to interview some of the passengers that were able to speak to us about the events that took place after the crash.

Boardlane TV:  Hi sir, could you give us a moment and tell us how are you feeling and what happened when you realized your flight crashed?

Lincoln: Lady, mi seh a Jah save wi cause a di back mi deh enoh Miss and all of a sudden mi si di miggle a di plane hice up inna di air and a dat time mi a penny seh di rahtid sinting bruck inna tree. Mi all si wan suitcase drap outta di ova head bin sinting and lick out wan white man flat a grung. Im mite inna di plane still kunk out an cyaan git up cause everybody tep ova im. Man an woman a try cum out before di plane boom up!

Boardlane TV:  No one stopped to assist the injured man?

Lincoln: Look yah lady, when plane boom flick pan dry land is all about survival yuh no seeit. Every man fi dem self cause yuh noh know if all a nex suitcase a goh shoot out fram di ova head sinting an lick yuh out. Trus mi!

Boardlane TV: Ok sir, thanks very much and glad you are Ok. Miss over here. Can you tell us how you feel and give us some insights on what took place on your flight?

Matlida: Glorry Glorry… I seh Glorrrrrreeeeeeee!! Lady a cyaan talk … Sweet Jesas! A nearly si di coming of mi Creata an mi nat even have on good drawz. I seh Glorrrrrreeeeeeee!! Halli-luyah!!!

Boardlane TV : Ok Madam, thanks. Hi Miss, can you come over here please?  BoardlaneTV here. Can you tell us what happened on your flight as it was landing?

Millicent: Dat razzklat pilot noh know wey di bloodseed im a do! Im nearly kill aff di whole a wi inna di big Chrismus haliday yah. A  fly di bummbeet plane like im a deh pan jet ski pan di tarmac. A waan smaddy buss im klaat an sen im back a flying school. Wan a mi lickle 9 year ole yute lan kite betta dan dat suckka lan dis big ole bloodbawt  plane. Cho Blood cleet. Come outta mi way yaah man.

Boardlane TV : Oookk?? Clearly she is upset with the pilot and understandable so. Let’s see… little one can you come over here and talk with us? How are you doing?

Celine:  Mi cyaan fine mi mummy. Yuh si har fi mi?

Boardlane TV :  No but maybe you can describe her and we can get some help for you.

Celine: Mi mummy have wan batty big <<soh>> an wear  wan burgundy hair weave. Har finga nail dem have Chrismuss tree paint pan dem. When di plane crash shi tek aff an run wey lef mi like shi figat seh shi have pickney pan di plane. Dats how shi behave when har head tek har yuh mam. Shi noh memba nutten bout mi.

Boardlane TV: Oh no! Poor thing. Go to the officer and find some help. Be safe. Let’s get one more comment from this gentleman. Hi sir, do you care to comment on the incident that just took place?

Percy: Sure I would loves to comments. Miss Lady, I and my mistress was in the bock aff di plane han was very hestinguished when wi realize dot di plane do nat landed good pan di runaway. So I jess tell di mistress to pick up di suitcase dem han faller backa me.

Boardlane TV : You made her carry both suitcases by herself?

Percy : What mek yuh hosk? Yuh noh si how shi strapping an have trang back? A wan cow dis yuh noh lady! Anyways, hofta shi falla backs a me, wi truck aff troo di side exit door an landed inna wan whole heapa gravel. Si hall my helbow chip up fram di rackstone dem an yuh si mi mistress nat even get a scrotch how shi tough. Dats why mi loves her soh. A very trong women dis. Wi aroight dowes. Just wont to find a batroom now fi change mi brief. Mi cyaan ston inna di pee-pee noh longer.

Boardlane TV: Ok sir, God bless you and the mistress. Well ladies and gentlemen there you have it. A very lucky set of passengers. Now we return to our regular scheduled programming.

We will have more comments from passengers as they get sorted out.

**** PART 2 ****

Boardlane TV: We are now back on the air speaking with a few more of the passengers from flight 331. Mister, can you step over here and have a chat with us. How are you doing? You look a little shaken up!

Trevor : Bway, I neva experience anyting like dis inna my life sistren. A lissen mi a lissen some trune pan mi Ipod an feel di plane a skid wey to blurtnaught. Di betern nex to mi look out a di window an start bawl out seh wi ago drap inna sea wata to birdbeak! Lady,  mi start pray unto Jah cause I man cyaan swim a lick an plus mi  all hear seh nuff Alligator inna di sea.

Boardlane TV: Alligators in the sea sir? Where have you heard such a thing? That’s not true.

Trevor : Yuh a fool man! Alligata inna di sea mi seh. Nuff time mi si dem lie dung pan di banking when mi a fly out, soh mi noh know wey yuh a chat seh. If wi did crash inna di sea an hear seh Alligata nyam up all a wi inna di plane,  wey yuh woulda seh eeh? How unu news people can behave like a hongle unu wan have educatian soh? Tek man fi fool an illeterate. GO WEY!!

Boardlane TV: Ok. Clearly that is a very misguided passenger but we are glad he wasn’t eaten by Alligators nonetheless. Looks like another shaken passenger heading our way. Over here sir. Can you tell us what this experience was like for you?

Neville: Ioyoo cyooon taalkk naw iss…. mknot a ood hime

Boardlane TV: Sir what are saying? I’m sorry we can’t hear you so good. Repeat that please.

Neville’s Daughter: Sarry lady. Papa cyaan talk to yah now. Im false teet fly outta im mout when im head lick up pan di seat. Nat a soul cyaan fine di teet all now. Gad eeh know how dis man a goh nyam im Chrismuss dinna now widout’en di teet. Lawd a mercy pan wi Puppa Jesas!

Boardlane TV: Ok sorry to hear that. Well let’s hope he will have a merry Christmas despite his missing teeth. God bless you. Hi, hi young man come and talk to us over here. What’s going through you mind after going through what just occurred?

Roy: Yuh really waan know what a goh troo my mine sistren? Is a spliff I waan bun yah now. Jah rastafari know. Dem kinna ting wi mash up yuh nerval system when rasta deh pan plane an it bruck up wid yuh inna it, yuh noh seeit . Mi teet dem noh tap rakkle fram mi lef outta di plane. I man need a weefah fi calm I nerves, but di bloodseed police bway dem a walk roun wid di sniffa daag dem  sed way mek I man cyaan draw fi di herb. (kiss teet)  Easy yaah mi sistren. I an I ago get outta dis Babylon cage.  More time!

Boardlane TV: Ok, we have time for just one more passenger. Looks like this lady is one of the more injured. Let’s see what she has to say.  Pssstttt Miss …can you share with Boardlane TV how you got your injuries?

Silvia: Noh wan batty bway push mi dung a try race mi outta di plane, mam. Mi seh dem noh have no mannas enoh lady. Imagine dis American Airlines likle punk fling mi dung inna fuss class an kick mi inna mi side when  im  jump ova mi. Mi seh if a neva fi mi artritis inna mi right han, a tump im dung if a eva si im bout yah. Look how mi frack dutty up like mi naah come fram nohweh!

Boardlane TV: Wait a minute, you said he was an American Airline person?

Silvia: Yes lady! A wan a di Hair hostess bway do mi soh. All yuh hear dem a chat bout lef plane ardaly in case of emergency dem a di fuss wan a bulldoza yuh when plane crash. Dem is jus like dem dam hooligan yuh si a stage show. Dam set a viagro dem! Dem only inna di stoosh unifarm like dem desent but dem noh betta dan di hag dem yuh si inna pig style. Dutty Jankro dem!

Boardlane TV: Very interesting. Well there you have it folks. A very traumatic day for the passengers as you just heard. We wish all a pleasant evening and thanks for tuning into Boardlane TV.

©  Joelle “Wendy” Wright

12/23/09